bry (quesodecorazon) wrote,

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they won't see us waiting
from such great heights
come down now
they'll say

so my summer is coming to a close, time to start my other life again.
three months ago i couldn't wait to come home, i was crying because i felt so alone in LA.
now as i prepare to return there, i find myself crying here because i feel so alone.
over the course of this summer, numerous friendships have either come to a sad closing or have reached the end of the long road of dissolution.

my friendship with bob falls in to the former, and its demise has left me dazed and confused. one moment i thought that we were close friends, and a few days later i am told its over.

my friendships with my best high school friends, meagan and marisa, have been reduced to me calling them almost every other day and them either not answering or being too tired to hang out every single time. i realized yesterday that i hadn't gotten drunk with marisa since senior year. and she pretends like john hasn't changed her...

a week ago i was mad that jeff hadn't made an effort to see me in over a week, but now i've stopped calling him every night to hang out, and i don't really care that he hasn't called me either. the last memory that i have where we had a good time was at his pirate party. since then, i have felt like i don't have a place in his life anymore.

i guess the common thread with all my friends is that they all have serious boyfriends, and that ever since they started getting serious, i felt out of place. i tried hanging out with them and their significant others, but its obvious everytime that they don't really know how to adapt.

i'm not blaming them for being happy, and i'm not jealous. they are all so lucky to have boyfriends who care about them as much as they all do. and i like all of their boyfriends (except marisa's). they are all great people.

so i'm glad that i only have a couple days left here, and soon i can move back to school and just start over, yet again.
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